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How to ask for forgiveness correctly
01.10.2024 03:10
To ask for forgiveness or just apologize...
Some may immediately say or think: “It’s all simple!”
After all, from the outside it seems such a trifle that it is not worth even a minute of our close attention! But such a formulation of the question is wrong.
After all, in order for the person you offended to hear you and really accept your apology (and not harbor resentment and anger towards you for many years), you need to apologize correctly. Therefore, let's take a detailed look at how to ask for forgiveness correctly.
Admitting one's own guilt
The most important step when you need to ask for forgiveness. It is a mistake to think that you can do this after you have said: “Forgive me, I was wrong.” Why? The reason is ridiculously simple: the interlocutor may ask you in response: “What exactly are you asking for forgiveness for? What was your mistake?”
And you will need to clearly formulate the answer to this question. Although in most cases, due to embarrassment and awkwardness, words most often "escape", leaving the unfortunate owner in an awkward position.
Remember that your interlocutor feels perfectly well when guilt is truly admitted. And if you want to maintain good relations, it is better to analyze the situation and understand what exactly your mistake is.
Calm your emotions
Another very important point that should not be forgotten. You should not ask for forgiveness in a strong emotional state. This is due to the need to adequately analyze the situation.
After all, an offended person can insult you, refuse to accept an apology, and not very politely redirect you to your immediate duties and other interests. And in such situations, you need to remain calm and have a cold, "sober" mind.
Otherwise, instead of receiving forgiveness, you will get a protracted conflict that will need to be “untangled” for years. Do you need that?
Don't delay
Any conflict requires a timely solution. After all, if you don’t apologize in time, the situation itself loses its meaning. And it leaves behind a very unpleasant mental residue, which significantly spoils relationships between people.
Therefore, you shouldn't wait for weeks and months until the offended person cools down and can adequately perceive the situation. It's better to apologize earlier.
This way you will avoid a possible situation where the relationship with the offended person will completely deteriorate. Take the courage to talk to the person as soon as possible. This way you will only demonstrate that you value the relationship.
Find the words
Before you rush to beg for forgiveness, carefully choose the words you say to your interlocutor.
Your apology should contain remorse for the action taken, sympathy, full acceptance of responsibility for the situation, an offer to compensate for the damage (do not brush this off, since you have caused moral trauma to the person, and it must be compensated!) and a promise of change.
Please note, the last promise should be kept. Otherwise, you will gain a negative reputation.
Remember that from everything said, the interlocutor may very clearly remember your promise. And he will very closely watch how exactly you implement the words said.
Be prepared for rejections
The most unpleasant thing about apologizing is to receive refusals from your interlocutor. Anything can be said: from a simple: "I don't need your apology" to "And who will guarantee that this will not happen again?
Why should I believe you? Therefore, be mentally prepared for this. And pick arguments to defend your position. Remember that you are the one who needs to receive forgiveness! The interlocutor is already offended by you. As a result, he personally does not owe you anything.
