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How to recognize a toxic person in 10 seconds? This method is used by psychologists
28.02.2025 22:15
Are you sure that your friend "cares" and your boss is "just strict"?
Psychologists claim that toxic people disguise themselves as well-wishers, but they can be identified in 10 seconds. We tell you how professionals do it.
Why is this important?
Toxic relationships cause chronic stress, lower self-esteem, and even trigger depression. A University of California study (2023) found that 68% of victims of toxic people do not realize they are being used for years.
The "3 signals" method from psychologists
Professionals analyze three aspects: speech, reaction to boundaries, body language. You don’t need tests – just attention.
1. Speech: "You are too sensitive"
Toxic people invalidate your emotions. Example phrases:
- "You're exaggerating everything."
- "It was just a joke, but you got offended."
- "Others are worse off, and you whine."
Why does this work? Phrases like these make you doubt your sanity.
2. Reaction to your boundaries.
Say no to little things (like a cup of coffee). The toxic person:
- He plays on pity: “I tried, and you…”
- Ignores refusal: continues to insist.
- Punishes with silence or sarcasm.
Fact: Healthy people respect boundaries without explanation.
3. Body language: aggression or falsehood.
- Eyes: shifty gaze, glassy look.
- Gestures: crossed arms, clenched fists, invasion of personal space.
- Smile: tense, without wrinkles around the eyes.
5 Questions Psychologists Ask
Answer yes or no:
1. After communication, do you feel empty instead of happy?
2. Does the person often criticize you “for your own good”?
3. Do you make excuses for his bad behavior? (“He’s tired,” “He had a difficult childhood.”)
4. Are you ashamed to tell your friends about your relationship?
5. Does he disrupt your plans but demand your full commitment?
If 2+ “yes” – you are dealing with a toxic person.
How to protect yourself? 3 steps according to the psychologists' method
1. Stop rescuing. Don't explain or justify his behavior. The defensive phrase is, "I understand your point of view, but mine is different."
2. Record violations. Write down instances when a person crosses boundaries. This will help you avoid manipulation.
3. Create distance. If it is a colleague, communicate only on work issues. If it is a relative, reduce meetings.
Why do toxic people pick on you?
You are a good listener and rarely say "no".
You tend to blame yourself for other people's problems.
Your empathy is a weakness to them, not a virtue.
Your action plan
1. Perform the "3 signals" test with a suspicious person.
2. If he is toxic, limit communication without feeling guilty.
3. See a psychologist if you can’t get out of the relationship.
