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Why is it so hard to forget your ex?
03.11.2024 05:10
Women find it difficult to break up relationships because, unlike men, they are more sensitive and emotional creatures.
Often, representatives of the weaker half of the population attribute to their beloved qualities that are not inherent to him and feelings that are absent.
The result is a fictitious image that women cling to and end up dying emotionally after love disappears.
Why do women need a fictitious image of a man?
When a woman falls in love, she brings out what is inside her. Just as a paranoid person thinks he is being followed, a fascinated person thinks she is loved.
And, of course, she wants her new chosen one to have the best qualities, so she endows him with them. And when he leaves, she starts to get hysterical: again she is unnecessary, unloved, unhappy. But, strangely enough, she continues to hope.
Even when the door slams behind a man, a woman continues to be with him in her thoughts: she thinks about him from morning to evening, and dreams of him at night.
At the same time, she understands perfectly well that, returning in thoughts to her beloved, she tortures herself. But she cannot break the cycle of obsessive thoughts, since thinking about her ex is both painful and pleasant. As long as he is in her thoughts, she remains in the relationship.
If you suggest that an abandoned woman punish herself at the behavioral level, for example, deprive herself of a purchase or a trip to a beauty salon every time she thinks about her ex-partner, with a 99 percent probability she will refuse any pleasures, just to be with her lover at least in her thoughts.
She will continue to follow him on social media, look at his photos and dream about how one day he will come back.
And it doesn't matter that the mind will say that it's all over. In the female consciousness, a constant fairy tale will continue to spin.
Not only does a woman suffering from unhappy love become emotionally destroyed, she nurtures her mental state in every possible way, feeding it with sad poems, touching songs and tearful melodramas. She suffers and revels in this state.
Suffering loves time
In psychology, there is such a concept as an "obsessive idea". This is a thought that attacks our consciousness and leads either to the performance of certain actions or to mental suffering.
“Some people are lucky in life, but I am haunted by nothing but failures”, “I will never be able to build a strong relationship with anyone”, “Life has no meaning at all”.
The fruit of such beliefs always becomes a negative emotion - anger, fear, melancholy. If a whole swarm of obsessive false thoughts begins to attack, it means that a person is immersed in a swamp of negativity.
Suffering is a powerful distraction from your main activity. Therefore, the more free time you have, the more you will suffer.
If your days are tightly scheduled, there will simply be no time to worry. However, it is up to you to decide how to spend the time of forgetting past relationships – in depression or in searching for something that could displace thoughts about your ex-partner.
Just remember: any suffering ends sooner or later, but not without consequences, and the more you hurt yourself, the more “patches” you will have to put on later.
Be responsible for your life! It does not stop and moves forward. And to remember this faster, use such a wonderful ability of our psyche as substitution.
After a breakup, a hole forms in the soul that needs to be filled: replace the emotions previously given by the man. Surely love was a source of pleasure, so you need to think about how to raise the serotonin level without the participation of a loved one.
Why not go on a short trip for a week. An alternative is extreme sports. Adrenaline also promotes the production of serotonin.
The decision to separate is almost always accompanied by suffering, as it is the end of something very important.
However, time will pass and it may turn out that it was the beginning of a new, better life. For a huge number of people, it was separation that helped them become truly happy.
