“You’re already big, but you’re crying like a little girl!”, “Stop screaming right now!”, “Why can’t you behave normally?” – these phrases seem harmless, but they are the ones that teach children to lie and hide their actions.
When a child hears that his emotions are “wrong,” he begins to fear them and mask them.
For example, if a child breaks a cup and confesses, and you yell at him in response, next time he will hide the shards under the sofa. Instead of judging, use "I-messages": "I was upset that the cup broke.
Let's clean it up together." This will show you that mistakes can be corrected and that you don't have to fear punishment.
Even more dangerous are phrases like “If you don’t finish your porridge, I’ll call the Bogeyman!” – they create anxiety and teach people to lie out of fear.
Better say: "When you eat, you will have the strength to play all day!" The truth sounds more convincing than horror stories.
Author: Valeria Kisternaya
