Psychological scars are caused not only by extremely difficult events in a person's life, such as the loss of a loved one, but also by traumatic events associated with a person's childhood.
Traumatic events are often considered to be exclusively extreme living conditions for a child, such as violence, beatings, scandals between parents, or even life without parents.
In fact, for a child who does not yet have an inner core (support) and is dependent on adults, sometimes “small” situations are enough, where he, being unable to react properly, as an adult would, experiences frustration, says Kristina Mizernaya .
it is quite possible that this can lead to psychological trauma, where the little person automatically comes to a certain conclusion about himself and his behavior in the future in every similar situation.
Moreover, the psyche, wanting to protect its owner, subsequently launches a certain method of psychological defense, a certain coping strategy that helped to survive in childhood, but is absolutely irrational in adulthood.
When a child is born, he or she is completely dependent on significant adults – mom and dad. The relationship between parents plays an important role in the formation of the child’s basic security.
The child non-verbally reads the energy of the parents' relationship; if there are conflicts and tension between them, the child experiences frustration and perceives himself as the main culprit of the conflict. Which negatively affects the formation of his "I-concept".
"If I am guilty, I am bad! I am unworthy - therefore I must be punished"
By forming this irrational attitude about himself in his picture of the world, the child will unconsciously find similar situations in which he can reinforce this belief about himself.
As an adult, this will result in persistent low self-esteem and self-deprecation.
Which will certainly be reflected in personal life - where the partner and his interests will always be a priority; in self-realization - where a person will always occupy lower job positions; in self-awareness and internal disharmony - where there will be eternal dissatisfaction with oneself, self-criticism and irritation.
Another reason for the development of low self-esteem and internal disharmony in childhood can be criticism and ridicule from peers. Unfortunately, kindergarten and school years are associated with unpleasant memories for many.
Ridicule regarding appearance or behavior, teasing, direct and indirect "violence" from other children can cause the development of complexes in the future adult. Which will undoubtedly have a negative impact on his self-perception and self-esteem.
But, unfortunately, it is not only peers who can bully a child.
Often parents and close relatives can make a portion of “harmless” jokes about their offspring, for example, dress them in something funny, make jokes about their appearance or behavior.
For adults, this may seem like a normal, fun situation, but for a small person, it may seem like a big tragedy, where he will feel offended, ashamed, and disappointed. And this, in turn, will give impetus to the development of a negative self-perception.
In addition, perhaps some of you are familiar with phrases such as “you’re getting carried away”, “you want a lot, but you’ll get little”, “sit down and keep your head down”, often said by parents and loved ones, either intentionally or without malicious intent, and are perceived tragically by the child.
The child is not capable of critical thinking, therefore phrases of this kind are a direct message to the formation of self-restraint and the call: “You and your desires are not important!”, “Don’t stick your neck out!”, “Don’t stand out.”
In adulthood, these phrases will play a cruel joke on their owner!
Where there will be no place for manifestation and disclosure of one's talents and potential. Because inside an outwardly adult person, there will always be echoes of an internal critical parent.
As you can see, childhood traumas are one of the most common and main reasons for the development of a distorted negative self-image. And our internal in turn gives rise to the external.
It is impossible to be happy and fulfilled when in disharmony with yourself. External changes are possible only under the influence of internal changes!
Earlier we talked about why a man doesn’t write to a woman .
Author: Valeria Kisternaya
