You are already an adult, married woman. You do not need moralizing, advice and tips.
So let's just look at the popular phrases of the most unloved relatives of all wives. We are talking about mothers-in-law.
Admit it honestly, are you also irritated by the words of your husband’s mother?
1. “It’s unknown how many more wives like this my son will have. I will forever remain his only mother!”
There is some truth in this phrase. The truth itself sounds something like this: “Let the son always value and respect his mother. It does not matter what kind of woman he lives with, no one will take his mother’s place!”
Actually, you don't pretend to be her, it's enough for you to be a beloved and loving wife. Forgive your mother-in-law these words and don't worry. Are you sure about your chosen one? Then everything is fine: he won't get himself a new wife and won't kick you out of the house.
2. “This is my son’s house. I have the right to come here whenever I please!”
Most mothers-in-law abuse the boundless respect of their obedient sons. Unfortunately, these adult women do not want to submit to the simple truth: two housewives will never get along in one house.
You and your husband live in this house. This means that you will be in charge here, not your mother-in-law. Don't lose your head, don't fall for provocations. Explain to your relative politely: "Mom, I don't mind, sit down. You are my honored guest. Would you like a cup of tea?" Let the dissatisfied woman understand that she will not be able to assert her rights and command in this area. You and your man decide everything here.
3. “One day my son introduced me to his lovely friend. I liked her so much. I wonder how this wonderful, polite girl is doing now?”
With this statement, she makes it clear that in the past your man behaved like a real seducer. Maybe she hints that he continues to flirt with the cutest girls.
There is another option: your mother-in-law wants to see another girl in your place – more well-mannered, educated and modest. Although where else could she be more well-mannered? You still tolerate the bullying of the “dear guest”. It turns out that you are a kind and tolerant wife. An ideal daughter-in-law! Only your mother-in-law does not appreciate you. It seems that the problem is in her, not in you.
4. “You haven’t raised your own children yet to be so smart. Gain some life experience and intelligence!”
When you start talking about design, politics, nature or art, your mother-in-law starts attacking you? Yes, she raised a wonderful, independent son. But this does not make her a superhuman and does not give her the right to devalue your knowledge.
Tell your dear mother-in-law that you didn't know about her extraordinary abilities. Until now, you considered her a wonderful mother (maybe even a wife). And only now have you realized that she knows everything in the world. And most importantly, she doesn't hesitate to be rude and cut you off mid-sentence.
5. “Nappies, washing machines, breast pumps, sterilizers and baby monitors are unaffordable luxuries. I managed just fine without them when my children were tiny.”
In the last century, many women had to give birth in the fields. Some mothers raised five children alone. Some even sent their children to school in old, shabby clothes. Today, much has changed, this cannot be denied.
Tell your mother-in-law: “Mom, don’t you use modern technology and other gadgets? Don’t you pick up your mobile phone and call your son several times a day?” Surely the grumpy lady will have no counterarguments left.
6. “I can’t share the recipe with you. My son is crazy about this delicacy. I’ve been making it for years.”
The words will follow: “The secrets of the signature dishes cannot be revealed. Besides, you won’t be able to cook it correctly!”
None of this is true. Your mother-in-law is probably afraid that you will make your own changes to the original recipe, and your husband will be satisfied with the result. She will not tolerate competition.
Be smarter, don't get into verbal polemics. Nod with a smile to the hated relative if you want to keep your nerves safe and sound. Help your mother-in-law set the table according to her requirements. Free yourself from cooking. It's not right for you to compete with such a skilled cook! Don't get upset, it's even good. You won't get tired and will keep your peace of mind. Let your mother-in-law get angry and exhausted, who doesn't tolerate competition.
7. “I see you haven’t cleaned up here. I ran my hand along the windowsill and my hands are all covered in dust. Do you even think about keeping it clean? What kind of housewife are you?”
Don't make excuses under any circumstances. It's better to ask your mother-in-law a related question: "You dusted off the place, right? The apartment is much cleaner now, don't you think?"
Did your words make your restless relative even more angry? Hint to her that you don't need constant checking and comments. Besides, well-mannered women don't behave like that.
Earlier we talked about how to ask for time off from work without any problems.
Author: Valeria Kisternaya
