Most men hide what irritates them in their partners.
This is the conclusion reached by scientists from the University of California.
67% of respondents admitted that women's small habits imperceptibly destroy trust.
At the same time, psychologists are sounding the alarm. Many partners do not even suspect hidden claims.
We looked at research, expert opinion, and real stories to find out what are the five things that turn men off the most.
Constant criticism instead of support
You're not washing the dishes correctly, and why haven't you taken out the trash again? - caustic remarks become a silent relationship killer.
John Gottman, a psychologist with 40 years of experience and the author of the book “7 Principles for a Happy Marriage,” says: “Criticism is one of the main reasons for divorce.”
Men perceive it as an attack on their self-esteem.
After work, I want to relax and not listen to what I did wrong, says Andrey, 32, in a comment on the Reddit forum.
A University of California study found that men who are regularly criticized are twice as likely to hide problems from their partners.
Lack of personal space
A man gets irritated when a woman establishes total control.
Psychologist Susan Whitbourne warns in an interview with Psychology Today: "Control and overprotection cause rebellion. Men start lying."
A Men's Health study confirms that 58% of respondents value relationships where their partner doesn't require them to be available 24/7.
Even in marriage, it's important to have some alone time or time with friends, says family therapist Michael Smith.
Manipulation through emotions
Tears, resentment or ignoring as a way to get what you want is a classic manipulation.
Dr. Robert Gluck, author of a study on gender conflicts, notes: “Men are quick to recognize falsehood and lose respect.”
She pretended to be sick so that I would stay home. Now I check every request she makes, says Igor, 28.
Harvard Business Review experts advise: speak directly.
Men are more likely to accommodate when they hear clear arguments rather than hidden ultimatums.
Neglect of appearance
This is not about model parameters.
A YouGov poll found that 73% of men are irritated when their partner stops looking after herself.
After the birth of the child, my wife said that she is not a model, but a mother, but I don’t ask for glamour, sometimes you can wear a dress and put on lipstick, Denis admits on the Pikabu forum.
Eternal discontent and complaints
Psychotherapist Amy Morin, writing for Forbes, emphasizes that chronic negativity is off-putting.
Men begin to avoid communication in order to save energy.
A University of Michigan study also found that couples who focus on the positive argue three times less often.
I learned to talk about problems without whining. Now my husband is in a hurry to help, Olga shares in a comment under a video on a YouTube channel about psychology.
What to do? Advice from experts
Psychologist Jordan Peterson advises: “Ask men what’s bothering them.”
Often partners are willing to change if they feel heard.
But sincerity, respect and a willingness to work on yourself turn “annoying little things” into growth points in relationships.
Author: Elena Gutyro
