Relatives are support and a pillar, but only until the moment when shared life and nagging begin to eat away at all the positive aspects of communication, depressing and leading to depression.
Living in the same apartment with your own relatives brings inconveniences. And if these are your husband's relatives, life can turn into torture.
How to live together without falling into mutual insults. Some advice on this matter.
Analysis of the situation
Living with a mother-in-law involves invading the territory of a stranger who has spent a long time establishing his own way of life and rules of conduct in the house; this should not be forgotten.
It is not surprising that a mother-in-law may perceive her daughter-in-law as an occupier who is going to establish new rules in her family. Therefore, it is worth understanding the woman's desire to defend her own. What should and should not be done?
Don't put your husband in front of a choice
Never force your husband to choose. This will only lead to a worsening of your relationship with your spouse. Don't forget that she is his mother, and whatever she does, she will be right by definition.
The choice between two loved ones can only worsen the situation, there will be resentments, omissions, neuroses. In this situation, no one will win.
Don't let your mother-in-law into your personal life
Setting your own rules in the house is one thing, but invading your privacy is unacceptable. It is necessary to clearly define the boundaries that the mother-in-law cannot cross.
Assess the situation realistically
Be able to admit that you are wrong. Don't insist on your point of view if it is wrong or violates the interests of another person.
Don't lose your composure
Do not shout, swear or insult your mother-in-law under any circumstances. She is an adult woman with her own life experience and worldview, even if she is wrong, do not resort to personal attacks, explain everything culturally and competently. If the person does not understand, it is better to just stop arguing and do not develop a conflict.
Live by the rules of the house
The house is not yours, which means you need to live in it according to the rules of the owners.
Organize a family council
Organize a family council where you will establish the rules by which you will live together. It is necessary to do everything so that everyone is comfortable.
Look for a compromise
Offer solutions that will suit both parties.
"Recruit" your father-in-law
Get your father-in-law (if you have one) on your side. He may be the person who will support you in a controversial moment.
Show care
The mother-in-law is a grown woman who needs help and care. Be interested in her problems, provide support, try to find a common language and hobbies.
Ask for advice
The older generation likes it when their opinion is asked. It makes them feel needed. Use it more often. This way, the mother-in-law's mood will improve, and her invaluable experience will not go to waste.
The best thing to do in such a situation would be to acquire your own home as soon as possible.
Every young family needs their own corner where they can make a family nest. As was said earlier, relatives are of course good, but it is even better when they are in the position of guests.
Earlier we talked about phrases that undermine relationships .
Author: Valeria Kisternaya
Expert: Julia Tychino
