It doesn't really matter how you learned about the fact of betrayal: whether "well-wishers" informed you or you discovered evidence of infidelity yourself. The deception happened and your position is unenviable.
According to psychologists, the first moments after betrayal are the most painful for a woman.
It is especially difficult if the spouse has not decided who he wants to see as his life partner.
Hours of waiting, precarious family situation are depressing. But if the decision is made to stay with your husband, the following six rules are for you. What mistakes should you avoid and how to survive your loved one's betrayal?
Don't be a victim
Let's imagine a man who returns home. As a rule, he is tormented by doubts about the current situation. Is it worth jeopardizing a long-term relationship?
Is the new chosen one really worthy of breaking family ties? And so, having barely crossed the threshold of his native abode, he meets his wife. Exhausted, in an unsightly state, she pours out a bucket of tears and a stream of accusations.
Let's assume that for some time the husband will try to steadfastly endure such attacks. But if heartbreaking performances are repeated with enviable regularity, the man will go where there are no hysterics.
Conclusion: Of course, you are a victim. Think about it once, feel sorry for yourself, cry and try to forget about the nightmare.
Avoid contact with your rival
It is pointless to hope for female solidarity. A mistress is also a woman, she wants true love, a woman's happiness.
Don't place vain hopes on your rival's conscience and that after a confidential conversation she will understand the situation and feel sorry for the children. Most likely, the rival will calmly listen to the monologue, and in the eyes of her husband she will present you in an unfavorable light.
Conclusion: You are the mistress of the situation, no matter how difficult it may seem.
No ultimatums
Now, when your husband is burning with passion for the homewrecker, and his feelings for you are poisoned by an unbearable sense of guilt, it is stupid to give ultimatums like "me or her". The choice may be unpleasant.
Put off making harsh statements for a while, carefully considering the right moment.
Understand that men categorically do not tolerate statements in an ultimatum form, especially if the husband has long been making decisions without pressure from his wife.
Conclusion. Rushing things is stupid. A man has the right to make his own decision. Only tact and patience will help tip the scales in the right direction.
Don't provoke jealousy
Only if you are absolutely sure of your feelings, you can provoke your husband to jealousy. It is wiser not to risk the relationship. Beyond the fine line comes the point of no return.
After all, most representatives of the stronger sex believe that a man's betrayal is a common, everyday thing, while a woman's is an irreparable betrayal. Even a husband who regularly cheats on his wife does not agree to wear branchy horns.
Conclusion: Be a faithful wife.
The main thing is freedom
There can be no talk of resolving the conflict if, having caught your husband cheating once, you will accuse him of betrayal again and again. This is one of the common mistakes that offended wives make.
Think about it. What do you want to achieve with such behavior? To find out about another betrayal of a man? Or to prick yourself with disgusting piquant details? What is the purpose of the actions?
Torturing yourself with unnecessary suspicions, sooner or later, under the pressure of emotions, you will pounce on your husband with a portion of accusations. The response will not lead to anything good.
Conclusion. You can't limit the freedom of a person living next to you. Learn to trust.
Remember your own mistakes
It's time to look for personal mistakes in what happened. Remember when the first signs of misunderstanding rang and you lost control of the relationship.
Think about what you did wrong: perhaps you stopped paying attention to your appearance, got immersed in the routine of everyday life, when you had your last romantic dinner, went on vacation together, gave gifts.
People tend to turn a blind eye to their own shortcomings.
Conclusion: Eliminate the mistakes of the past.
Life is filled with various colors: dull, bright, dark. No one is immune from a man's betrayal. But after a loss there will always be a find, after disappointment - the acquisition of faith.
The recommendations presented above will tell you what common actions should be avoided, how to survive the betrayal of a loved one, and how to remain desirable in his eyes for years.
Be in control of the situation, think clearly, respect yourself, and you will definitely be happy.
Earlier we reported on what kind of women men like .
Author: Valeria Kisternaya
Expert: Elena Gutyro
