How to make peace after a fight with your loved one

Quarrels in relationships happen to all couples. When two people start living together and building a life together, conflicts inevitably arise due to differences in character, habits and outlook on life.

After a heated argument with a loved one, tension usually sets in in the relationship. Both feel hurt and angry.

To prevent further alienation and separation, it is important to make peace as quickly as possible.

Here are some tips on how to do this:

• Give each other time to calm down. Don't try to make peace right after a fight - the emotions are still too strong. It's better to postpone the conversation for a couple of hours or even until the next day.
• Talk calmly, without accusations. Don't aggravate the conflict with mutual reproaches. Focus on finding a solution.
• Listen to your partner's point of view. Try to understand what exactly offended him and why he reacted so sharply.
• Apologize if you have behaved incorrectly. Even if you think you are right, peace for the sake of the relationship is sometimes more important.
• Don't hold a grudge inside. Express your feelings openly, this will help dissipate the tension.
• Agree on a compromise. Find a solution that suits both parties.

Once the initial emotions have subsided, it will be time to understand the reasons for the conflict.

Try to answer these questions together:

• What caused the argument, what was the original problem?
• What did your partner say or do that offended or hurt each of you?
• Were the expectations of one of you violated by the other? Which ones?
• What could have been done or said differently to avoid the conflict?

Discuss how important this issue is to each of you.

Is it a matter of principle for you or can a compromise be found? The main thing is to sincerely strive to understand each other's position and feelings.

If the argument has revealed some kind of "sore point" in the relationship that constantly leads to conflicts, you will have to work on this problem.

For example, one needs common activities and active rest, and the other is a homebody. Or one likes order, and the other throws things around.

Discuss how to resolve this conflict. What are you willing to change in your behavior? A compromise can be reached if you show respect for each other's needs.

Don't dwell on the negative. Remember the positive aspects of your relationship. Think about what attracted you to your partner, what you appreciate about them. Focus on the good things that you have between you.

Once you have analyzed the reasons for the quarrel and discussed how to avoid similar conflicts in the future, you can move on to reconciliation.

An important point is the words of apology. Even if you think you are right, for the sake of maintaining peace and harmony, it is worth being the first to apologize. Phrases like "I'm sorry I was wrong" or "I'm sorry I offended you" will help defuse the situation.

However, you shouldn't apologize formally, just for the sake of it. Your task is not just to say the right words, but to sincerely admit your mistake and draw conclusions for the future. Then your partner will feel that you are truly sorry.

Hugs and gentle touches are also very important. Hug each other, hold hands, kiss - physical contact will restore the feeling of closeness.

After reconciliation, it is necessary to return to the usual rhythm of the relationship, so as not to let the offense settle in the soul. Arrange a pleasant evening together, go somewhere together. Remind each other why you are together.

The main thing is not to "sweep the conflict under the carpet". Be sure to find out its causes and agree on how to avoid misunderstandings in the future. Then this crisis will only strengthen your relationship!

Earlier we reported on how to learn to argue effectively .